Don’t Apologize

“All I have in this is World, is my balls, and my word.” – Tony Montana, Scarface.

Seriously. Don’t apologize for your words.

Own your words. To that extent, own your writing.

I’ve written many blogs before. The past ones have always been under pen names. I regret that. They don’t exist in my reality. It’s almost as if they’re not there. To repost them now wouldn’t work. They are not a reflection of current thoughts. Just old thoughts. Days gone by. Nobody can look back at my old thoughts and think how wrong and how stupid I used to be… better than I can.

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Own your words. To that extent, own your writing.

Edwin Lyngar, while mocking the republican party, said the other day that “Real Americans don’t change their minds; they hold deep convictions.”

In that case, Real Americans are idiots. [READ: The MisEducation of America; Everybody Is Wrong, Except Me]

That’s not how it’s supposed to be.

Over time you grow. You improve. You rethink things. You change your viewpoints in light of new information. This is to be expected. If you don’t do it, then you’re sitting still. And something is wrong with you. Maybe you’re broken.

But, in the same sense, you should never apologize for your writing. Writing is amazing. The best writing always speaks the truth. The author’s views at that moment in time. That snapshot in time. For a few seconds or a few hours. Tomorrow I may feel differently…. but right now I feel THIS.

10 days later THIS sucked. The worst thing I ever wrote. How was I so stupid just 10 days ago? 10 days is a lot. A long time. A lot of things have changed since then.

But, don’t apologize for it.

I hate when I see writers or creators apologize for their words as if their words were a mistake. Words can’t be a mistake. Words can only be words.

The Oatmeal apologized for a rape joke. I was disgusted. Not at the rape joke, but at the apology.

Maybe the internet gives the masses too much control. When a fit gets thrown, a fit gets thrown. A shit storm kicks up.

It’s a shame that somebody should feel the need to apologize for their words. Or even tied down to their words. ‘Tis was a only a snapshot in time after all.

Actually you shouldn’t apologize for anything.

We had a corporate communications professor in my MBA program who used to tell us, “don’t say ‘sorry’, it sounds weak. Say ‘excuse me'”.

I agree. I also disagree.

A woman can say “I’m sorry”. It’s kind of cute when they say it. But, a man should never say “I’m sorry.” It does sound weak.

As a man, you get like two “I’m sorry”‘s in your life. So, you have to use them wisely. Like when you get caught cheating on your wife. Or you accidentally shoot your friend in the face. Or something like that. Real “I’m sorry” moments.

Everything else is only worthy of a “my bad” or maybe an “excuse me”.

But don’t apologize for your words.

Change your mind. Disagree with your past self that’s fine. Everybody does that.

Mitt Romney is a flip flopper.

Nas is a hypocrite.

In the midst of their battle, Jay-Z tried to call him out on it, “Is it Oochie Wally or is it Black Girl Lost?

Umm… it’s both. Why shouldn’t Nas be allowed to contradict himself on different songs? Different songs, different snapshots in time. Different words.

Is time supposed to stay the same?

That would be rather boring. Wouldn’t it?

As humans we’re not expected to grow? Change our viewpoints over time? Or even at an instant?

Why not? Says who?

Silliness. That’s who.

 

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2 thoughts on “Don’t Apologize

  1. I like this blog entry. If I am dating a man and he says “I’m sorry” every time I get mad about something, I begin to feel he has no backbone. The feeling increases with each time it happens, as if he’s only trying to keep me happy all the time.

    I learned quite a bit after reading your previous blog and others. Confidence is mandatory. Having the balls to be yourself, regardless of whether or not anyone likes it, is so enticing to me.

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